Recently I had a friend decide to deactivate her Facebook account in favor of Twitter. This kinda interested me, as its a fairly unusual thing for people to do (hmmm, that’s a whole other interesting topic right there). I asked her why she had decided to do this, and she told me that a social network is a two way thing. You have to put energy into it in order to get something out of it. She felt like she wasn’t getting that much out of Facebook, and consequently was putting less and less into it. Finally she decided to just give up on it altogether. Twitter, for her, was a more interactive social network.
As I thought about it, it kinda sunk in. A social network is a two way thing. I don’t always feel like this is true with my networks. I feel like I put a lot into sharing things that I find interesting, and few people let me know that they appreciate it. Conversely, I spend a lot of time reading other peoples stuff, but rarely show appreciation, even for the things I really like. This isn’t really socializing, its more like shouting loudly at a group while they’re all shouting back at me. Nobody is really listening, and there’s no real interaction going on.
As ironic as it may seem, one of the best examples I have of actually interacting on social networks is my mother-in-law. Her interaction on Facebook is way more personal. I know that her reason for using Facebook is to keep in touch with her daughters, who are both married and far from home. They swap stories, share pictures and fun links, and generally catch up with each other on Facebook. It’s a subtle but effective way of saying “I love you” without being embarrassing. And since I’m now a member of the family, I get to be included too! I appreciate that she takes the time to click on and check out my weird and ridiculous links, and even comments on several. It makes me feel like my efforts to share on Facebook are validated. And that’s just cool.
And so, ironically, the big problem with social networks is that they often aren’t social enough. I guess it’s no surprise, but as it turns out: socialising takes effort, whether online or offline. Guess its time to go comment on more of my friends posts…
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